


Supernatural Cell Block Tango

by Mrs_SimonTam_PHD



Series: Supernatural Song Parodies [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Balthriel, Calthazar, Cell Block Tango Parody, Denny - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, I had way too much fun with this, M/M, Micifer, Oops, Parody, Saestiel, Sam gets murdered twice, Samifer - Freeform, Song Parody, this was hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 05:16:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4007290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD/pseuds/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer, Balthazar, Castiel, Benny, Dean, and Michael are the six merry murderers of the Supernatural County Jail. These are their stories.</p><p>Pop: Lucifer<br/>Six: Balthazar<br/>Squish: Castiel<br/>Uh Uh: Benny<br/>Cicero: Dean<br/>Lipschitz: Michael</p>
            </blockquote>





	Supernatural Cell Block Tango

**Author's Note:**

> I've hit a roadblock with Crushin', and I've had this floating around Word for awhile, so I decided to polish it off and publish it. 
> 
> Yes, I realize that some of these are impossible, like 'Zar is both dead and a member of the Cell Block Tango, but OH WELL. I needed ships that wouldn't be weird (You nearly got Azazel/Dean *shudders*)
> 
> So, enjoy!
> 
> Covers welcome, please give me credit
> 
> I do not own Supernatural or the song "Cell Block Tango" from the movie Chicago

_And now, the six merry murderers of the Supernatural County Jail in their rendition of the Cell Block Tango_

_Pop. Six. Squish. Uh huh. Cicero. Lucifer._

_He had it comin’. He had it comin._

_He only had himself to blame._

_If you had been there, if you had seen it_

_I bet that you would have done the same._

_Pop. Six. Squish. Uh huh. Cicero. Lucifer._

**Pop:**

You know how people have these little habits that get you down?

Like. . . Sam

Sam liked to chew gum

No, not chew

Pop!

So I come home this one day and I’m really irritated and I’m lookin’ for a bit of sympathy

And there’s Sam, layin’ there on the couch, drinkin’ a beer and chewin’

No, not chewin’

Poppin’!

So I said to him, I said

“You pop that gum one more time”

And he did.

So I took the shotgun off the wall

and I fired two warning shots

Into his head

_He had it comin’. He had it comin’._

_He only had himself to blame._

_If you had been there, if you had seen it_

_I bet that you would have done the same._

**Six:**

I met Gabriel Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago

And he told me he was single, and we hit it off right away

So we started living together

He’d go to work, he’d come home

I’d fix him a drink, we’d have dinner

And then I found out

Single, he told me?

Single my arse!

Not only was he married, oh no

He had six wives!

One of those pagans, you know

So, that night, when he came home from work

I fixed him his drink, as usual

You know, some gods just can’t hold their arsenic

_He had it comin’. He had it comin’._

_He took a flower in its prime_

_And then he used it_

_And he abused it_

_It was a murder, but not a crime!_

**Squish:**

Now, I’m standing in the kitchen, carvin’ up the chicken for dinner

Mindin’ my own business

In storms my husband Balthazar in a jealous rage

“You’ve been screwin’ the Righteous Man” he says

He was crazy, and he kept on screamin’

“You’ve been screwin’ the Righteous Man!”

And then he ran into my knife.

He ran into my knife 10 times

**Uh huh:**

 

Ce que je fais ici?

Ils dissent mon amour force mon mari bas

et j'ai coupé son tête.

Mais il n’est pas vrai, je suis innocent.

Je ne sais pas pourquoi l'Amerique dit que je l’ai fait.

J’essayé d’expliquer à la police,

mais ils ne me comprendaient pas.

**Cicero:**

My brother Sammy and I had this double act

And my husband Castiel traveled around with us

Now for the last number in our act, we did these twenty acrobatic tricks in a row

1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Splits, spread eagles, backflips, flip flops

One right after the other

Well this one night we were down at the hotel Cicero

The three of us

Boozin’ and havin’ a few laughs

And we run out of ice, so I go out to get some

I come back, open the door, and there’s Sammy and Castiel doing number 17:

The spread eagle

Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out, I can’t remember a thing.

It wasn’t until later, when I was washing the blood off of my hands

 I even knew that they were dead

_They had it comin’_

_They had it comin’_

_They had it comin’_

_They had it comin’_

_They had it comin’ all along_

_I didn’t do it_

_But if I’d done it_

_How could you tell me that I was wrong?_

_They had it comin’_

_They had it comin’_

_They had it comin’_

_They had it comin’_

_They had it comin’ all along_

_I didn’t do it_

_But if I’d done it_

_How could you tell me that I was wrong?_

**Lucifer:**

I loved Lucifer more than I can possibly say

He was a real artistic guy, sensitive, a painter

But he was always trying to find himself.

He’d go out every night looking for himself

And on the way, he found Meg, Ruby, Lilith, and Alistair

I guess you could say we broke up because of artistic differences

He saw himself as alive

And I saw him dead!

_The dirty bum bum bum bum_

_The dirty bum bum bum bum_

_They had it comin’_

_They had it comin’_

_They had it comin’_

_They had it comin’_

_They had it comin’ all along_

_Cause if they used us_

_And they abused us_

_How could you tell us that we were wrong?_

_He had it comin_

_He had it comin’_

_He had it comin’_

_He had it comin’_

_He only had himself to blame_

_If you had been there_

_If you had seen it_

_I bet that you would have done the same!_

You pop that gum one more time

Single my arse

Ten times

Pourquoi l’oncle Sam dit que je l’ai fait

Number 17: the spread eagle

Artistic differences

Pop

Six

Squish

Uh huh

Cicero

Lucifer

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr at dragonmage.tumblr.com
> 
> Comments and Kudos are Shiny!!


End file.
